Purpose
The third pillar of the American Dream is purpose.
Purpose is perhaps the most misunderstood of the three pillars because people often imagine it must be something grand. We hear stories of great leaders, inventors, activists, philanthropists, and public figures who dedicated their lives to causes larger than themselves. Their contributions are admirable, but they can also create the impression that purpose is reserved for extraordinary people pursuing extraordinary missions.
Most purposes look nothing like that.
A purpose can be as simple as helping your children build a better life than the one you had. It can be caring for an aging parent, serving your community, mentoring a young person, supporting a struggling friend, volunteering at your church, or coaching a youth sports team.
At its core, purpose requires a belief in something that is bigger than the self.
Many years ago, a colleague of mine spent his weekends volunteering with the local emergency medical service (EMS). Every Friday evening, he would prepare himself for the possibility of being called out at any hour. While most people were beginning their weekend, he was making himself available at a moment’s notice to assist strangers facing medical emergencies, accidents, and crises.
He rarely spoke about this work. There was no financial reward attached to it. Yet whenever the subject arose, his eyes lit up. The sense of service clearly provided something that could not be measured in dollars.
Another friend lived a very different life. He was not wealthy. For many years, his primary goal was helping his son through a mix of difficult challenges. He and his wife made sacrifices so their son could attend college and pursue opportunities that had not been available to them. With their son going away to college, they gradually became involved in charitable and cultural organizations within their community. Their purpose evolved, but the underlying principle remained the same. They were investing themselves in something larger than their own immediate comfort.
In both these examples, purpose was found through service. One served strangers, while the other served family.
Purpose gives meaning to sacrifice.
Purpose is not simply doing what we love. As we saw in the chapter on the “Obituary Paradox”, we can become highly skilled, wealthy, or accomplished and still feel a profound sense of emptiness. Purpose requires a connection beyond the self. It comes from knowing that our efforts, sacrifices, and talents are improving the lives of others in some way, whether through family, work, community, faith, or service.
Without purpose, sacrifices feel like loss. But with purpose, they become precious investments.
This is why purpose occupies such an important place in a better, richer and fuller life. Human beings naturally seek significance. We want our lives to matter. We want our efforts to contribute to something that will continue after we are gone.
For some people that contribution takes the form of children and grandchildren. For others it is a business, a ministry, a profession, a cause, a community organization, or a body of work. The form varies, but the desire is universal.
Many people discover this only after achieving a measure of prosperity. Financial security solves many problems, and it also creates space for deeper questions. Once basic needs are met, people begin asking what all of their effort is ultimately for.
The answer rarely lies in securing another possession.
That’s why when people reflect on their lives, they seldom measure success by the size of their home. Instead, they remember the people they loved, the people they helped, and the responsibilities they willingly carried.
This is why purpose completes the American Dream.
Prosperity is about us building a secure life that meets our needs.
Belonging is about us building a community and sharing with others.
Purpose is about making someone or something else, however modestly, better.
A better and richer and fuller life requires all three.
Next Chapter: Belonging
Previous Chapter: Onward In Pursuit